Getting fit was never as much fun as this. William Gadsby Peet swaps an all-too-merry Christmas for an energetic 2018

We’ve all been there: headache pounding like police at the front door of a drugs bust; mouth tasting like the back of a radiator; a general feeling of malaise, like the mind is butter spread over too much bread; and the occasional flush of shame from the night before as your brain reboots, reminding you of things you definitely shouldn’t have said, actions you definitely shouldn’t have taken and dance moves you most definitely aren’t graceful enough to have attempted.
Welcome to the new year! As the sunlight filters through your bedroom window you make a solemn, hangover-inspired vow: ‘This year will be different; I’ll be healthy; I’ll sign up to the gym just as soon as this room stops spinning.’ But life is hard and the gym boring. So, after a fortnight of enthusiastic attendance, your membership rusts in your inbox, only to be cancelled completely in June, when the whole vicious cycle starts once more.
Enough, say I. The secret to keeping fit is having fun. There was a time, long ago, when I played three games of rugby a week – and it wasn’t because I like running. Fortunately for those who don’t love the gym, there’s an array of engaging, gut-busting activities to be enjoyed in the local area, from fencing to Egyptian belly dancing. Hopefully, with a new fitness hobby you actually enjoy, January can mark the start of not only a new year, but also a new you…
Cut and thrust

Any physical exercise that helps me live out my fantasy of being a musketeer is absolutely aces in my book. And the deft footwork and sharp lunges involved in crossing foils are also great for burning calories and developing a strong, stable core. The Luso Fencing Academy offers a five-week course for complete beginners at the very reasonable price of £45, with lessons taking place on a Wednesday from 7.30-9pm in the main hall of Furze Platt Senior School. The academy has plenty of equipment available for hire, so no need to worry about purchasing your own sword. All for one and one for all!
- lusofencingacademy.co.uk; 07864 278 112
On yer bike

ILAL
Normal cycling can become a bit tedious, but bombing along a specially designed forest trail on a mountain bike will prove an endless source of high-octane entertainment. Swinley Bike Hub features three specially designed routes around Swinley Forest of varying degrees of difficulty – a green 1km trail for beginners, a blue 10km trail for intermediate riders and a red 13km trail for advanced mountain bikers.
The trails are open all year round and you can hire an adult bike for four hours at a cost of £30-40 (depending on type). Kids bikes are also available at £20 for four hours and, given the green trail’s suitability for riders of all levels, this is a great option for the entire family. Those looking to brush up on their skills can take one-to-one private lessons (£75 for two and a half hours) or group lessons (£50, also 2.5 hrs).
- swinleybikehub.com; 01344 360 229
Touch and go

Touch rugby is a brilliant way of keeping fit, offering a lot of the speed and excitement of the full contact game without any of the bone-shuddering danger. It is also absolutely exhausting, as you are running at pace and changing direction constantly.
Maidenhead RFC has a touch section called the Mohawks that is one of only 15 O2 Touch Centres in the country to receive an RFU Legacy Gold Standard Award. The Mohawks restart training sessions from January 17, offering a friendly environment within which to learn the game. The club focuses on inclusivity with players ranging in age from 14-60 and all abilities welcome. Training is from 7.30-9pm. Your first session is free, with each subsequent session at £5.
- maidenheadrfc.com; 07766 525 938
Bounce

Trampoline parks have – if you’ll excuse the pun – really taken off in recent years. Bouncing up and down on a trampoline offers a highly aerobic, full-body workout that is gentle on your joints and helps to strengthen your lymphatic system, while also releasing endorphins and being great fun.
The area has a wealth of different options for those looking to defy gravity. Jump Giants in Heathrow is a 30,000 sq ft, all-singing, all-dancing playground with launch pads into foam pits, plus ninja courses, battle beams, basketball slam dunk lanes and dodgeball courts. Two hours in the facility costs £16. Red Kangaroo in Reading offers a similar set of activities and also includes a giant Wipeout machine, half pipe and a vertical wall running section. Two hours in the park costs £17. You will need to sign a waiver beforehand at both venues.
- jumpgiants.com; 08444 141 141
- redkangaroo.co.uk; 01183 248 884
Rock 'n' roll

Roller derby is a frenetic full-contact sport that originated in the US and has recently gained a lot of momentum – if you will again excuse the pun – here in the UK.
A roller derby bout consists of two 30-minute periods split into short two-minute bursts of action called jams. Two teams face off on an oval-shaped track. Five players from each team – a jammer and four blockers – are on track during a jam. The jammer scores a point for each member of the opposing team that he or she passes on a given lap of the track, and the blockers’ role is to try and stop them, while helping their own jammer score points.
Royal Windsor Roller Girls was established in 2007, making it one of the oldest clubs in the UK. Its teams play all over the world and, in 2016, it won Community Club of the Year at the Get Berkshire Active Awards. Skaters come from all walks and age ranges (19-54), with a club emphasis on community and fun. Training takes place three times a week at Charters Leisure Centre in Ascot and there’s a new ‘Rookie Programme’ being implemented from January onwards for those who have never tried the sport – or even skated – before.
The sport of kings
The rules of real tennis are so ingeniously madcap that I will not even try to articulate them here. Suffice to say that this is a highly entertaining and physically demanding game with (as you can see) a uniquely shaped court that rewards creativity and subtlety as much as raw pace and power.
I watched a match at Hampton Court Palace last summer and loved every minute. Holyport Real Tennis Club offers taster lessons for those looking to get into the sport for the first time. They’re £35, but you lovely readers can enjoy a £10 discount by quoting our magazine when booking.
- hrtc.co.uk; 01628 673 974
Dance like an Egyptian

Belly dancing is thought to be the oldest known dance form in the world and was likely performed in the early days of Ancient Egypt, in a form not dissimilar to that of today. It is a low impact exercise that you don’t have to be in peak physical condition to enjoy; one that is great for the lower back, stomach and core muscles.
At Yoga For Harmony in Windsor, belly dancing classes are led by Ellen O’Farrel, an expert who looks to teach the dance as a “celebration of womanhood and a beautiful way of rediscovering the strength and beauty of feminine energy”. Classes cost £10 – and you don’t have to show your belly if you don’t want to.
- yogaforharmony.co.uk; 01628 666 528
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