The Dirty Carols are "four oh-so-kind-of-lovely Guildford/Texas/French women who sing rude and funny songs nicely". William Gadsby Peet grabs a quick word ahead of their performance at the Guildford Fringe

Lee Irvine
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© Lee Irvine, PelicanImages 2017
- Interesting name, what exactly are the Dirty Carols?
We are four oh-so-kind-of-lovely Guildford/Texas/French women who sing rude and funny songs nicely. None of us are called Carol. All of us are a bit dirty.
- How did you guys come about?
Most of us met in a sweet little community choir called Bellfields Community Choir (RIP). Back in 2014, Louise (stand-up comedy poet) decided to write some daft lyrics for some Christmas carols and then the rest of us (Lorna, Elizabeth, Sandrine) thought it would be a good idea to sing them in open mics in Guildford. People laughed a lot, which only encouraged us, so we did it some more and then had our own shows e.g. the lovely Guildford Fringe. We all think that you might as well have an adventure singing funny songs in front of strangers before you die.
- Why is your show titled ‘A Donkey Called Keith?
There is a donkey called Keith in it. Not a real donkey (we weren't allowed). We would love a real donkey. Can we have a real donkey? Can we call her Keith?
Also, because we had to think of a name for our show really quickly, so we took 3 seconds to grab a lyric out of one of our songs that didn't involve anything ruder than donkeys or the name Keith.
- Who is the funniest out of the quartet?
It depends on your sense of humour. Here's a quick analysis:
Louise writes funny stuff, loves animals (except kittens), doesn't eat meat (except kittens).
Lorna says funny stuff but is dangerous to be near e.g. once she set fire to her leg.
Elizabeth does funny stuff e.g. arrange her shoes from north to south depending on wind direction.
Sandrine is French, which is all you need to know.
- Rhyming couplet from your show with absolutely no context attached…
Couldn't find a dactylic hexameter, so will this do?:
"You took me for grub at the Bullingdon Club with all of your cronies, I wasn't impressed with all of you dressed like My Little Ponies."
[Editor's Note: Yes it very much will]
The Dirty Carols will be performing A Donkey Called Keith in the back room of the Star Inn on July 14 and 21. For more information and to book tickets, visit: guildfordfringefestival.com/
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