Nicola Scott gets some expert advice on pet euthanasia
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There’s been a death in the family that’s hit harder than any of us could have imagined. After nearly 16 years of unequivocal love and devotion, weird habits and hilarious stories it was time to say goodbye to Stella, my sister Sam’s ‘prize-winning princess’. It was months ago but Sam’s loss is still so painful.
Old age finally caught up with Stella. Her joints were stiff with arthritis, walks were getting shorter, sleeps getting longer, disorientation and lack of coordination more apparent. Deep down, Sam knew that Stella was on borrowed time but she was in denial. The reality of life without that crazy dog was inconceivable, and, right up until the day Stella passed away, she questioned whether euthanasia was the right thing.
Making that crucial decision is incredibly hard. It takes an enormous amount of courage to euthanise your pet and many owners hang on to faint hope in an effort to stall the inevitable. But, realistically, when is the right time?
According to Dawn Murray, founder of the support service Living with Pet Bereavement, the general rule is when a pet’s quantity of life overtakes quality of life, and this hinges not only on pain, but on suffering too.
“Pet carers often confuse pain and suffering as being the same thing, but suffering also applies to the emotional wellbeing of a pet,” says Dawn. “And this doesn’t necessarily affect just elderly pets, but also pets who are seriously ill or have been involved in an accident.”
You know your animal better than anyone and your gut instinct, confirmed with a diagnosis from your vet, will help you reach the decision, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
“Due to overwhelming feelings of guilt, many pet owners question their timing but, there is no such thing as a day too early, only a day too late,” says Dawn.
Being informed of the process of euthanasia and what the aftercare options are helps to rationalise these thoughts. Have you considered how you would like to say goodbye? Would you prefer to be at home or at the practice? Do you want his ashes back? Would you like a paw print or a tuft of hair from the fluffiest part of his chest? You don’t have to make these decisions alone, speaking to your vet and talking them over with friends and family will help put things in perspective.
“Having a support network pre, during and post euthanasia is important. Grieving is a very natural process and sadly no one can go through it for us,” says Dawn. “It can be a long and lonely road for many, but what carers must remember is that allowing a pet to die with dignity is the ultimate act of love.”
My sister wonders if she will ever stop missing Stella. The answer is probably no. She kick started family life with Sam and now there’s a gigantic staffie/labrador/whippet-shaped hole in it, but hopefully in time the tears will be replaced by laughter as she recalls the great times they shared.
“A pet gives love unconditionally and would never want their owner to suffer after they die,” says Dawn. To accept the love and loss of a pet by remembering them with fondness not sadness is the greatest way to memorialise what an outstanding pet you had.”
Contact Dawn Murray at info@livingwithpetbereavement.com for more information on dealing with the loss of your pet.
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