For those about to ruck, we salute you!

As the Aviva Premiership gets into gear, William Gadsby Peet talks to man-mountain and local boy James Haskell about banter, touring with the Lions and why England are riding high

Early September and James Haskell is right at the end of his convalescence. A troublesome finger has been the problem, an injury incurred back in the summer whilst Haskell was playing for the British and Irish Lions. In typical rugby player fashion he is keen to downplay the severity. 

“It wasn’t too painful,” he maintains, “but I had to have the surgery, as my finger was becoming dislocated when people shook my hand or I was turning the light switch on. Not ideal.”

Mind you, if ever there was a tour in which the sheer participatory joy made any physical discomfort worthwhile, it has to be the 2017 Lions tour to New Zealand. Few gave the team hope against the mighty All Blacks, with predictions of a 3-0 whitewash in plentiful supply. There were even rumours of permanent surrender – the dismantling of the whole British Lions edifice – should the anticipated deluge occur.  

But it didn’t. Instead, through a combination of grit, determination and, at times, sheer bloody-mindedness, the Lions drew the series, inflicting upon the All Blacks their first home Test defeat in eight years. Impressive performances for Wasps at the end of last season, coupled with an unfortunate injury to fellow English battering ram Billy Vunipola, ensured that Haskell was part of the squad. And whilst he didn’t feature in any of the three Tests, the experience of the tour was unforgettable. 

“For me it was a childhood dream come true. I’ve always wanted to play for the Lions,” he tells me with obvious pride. “I had come to believe that it would never happen, as I had missed out on it a few times before and, sadly, I’m not as young as I once was. It was a real shame that it had to come at the expense of Billy Vunipola, and obviously I was devastated for him, but I loved it and embraced every moment. 

“One thing that stuck with me was how nice it was to talk to players from the other home nations, as you’re normally trying to knock the stuffing out of each other. To meet them off the field, realise they’re all good boys and bond together as a team, that’s what’s really special about the Lions. I don’t think I could have done more or committed myself more to the whole set-up. It’s a memory that will stay with me for life.”

Despite his name being synonymous with ‘banter’ – one cringeworthy moment during the recent tour saw Will Greenwood anoint him the ‘Archbishop of Banterbury’ live on air – Haskell is strangely reticent about any horseplay that may have gone on in the land of the long white cloud.  

“It’s one of those things now where I’m actually trying to remove the word banter from my vocabulary. It’s become such a cliché. I was speaking to my missus the other day, and we were trying to figure out what to replace it with, as people nowadays are just using it as an excuse to say whatever they want. When you hear people over 50 using it, you start to think that maybe it’s time to come up with a new word! 

“I think the kit man suffered from a few practical jokes during the tour – boys ordering anchovies and tuna sandwiches to his room in the middle of the night and all that – but I didn’t take part in any of it myself.”

All a long way, it appears, from the wanton hellraising of the amateur era. Take the 1974 Lions tour to South Africa, for example, when captain Willie John McBride was awoken in the dead of night to be presented with the sight of a hotel lobby smashed to smithereens, a dozen of his players too drunk to stand up and an understandably irate hotel manager, recently soaked with a fire extinguisher by prop Bobby Windsor. Wearing only his underwear and pipe, McBride calmly surveyed the scene before turning to the hotel manager to ask: “What seems to be the problem?”

Still, while the number of war stories may have declined in the professional era, the standard of rugby is undoubtedly the highest it’s ever been. One of the many upsides to a lack of jail time is that players can come back from a tour ready to crack straight on with the domestic season – and with a place in the England squad to fight for, Windsor-born Haskell is relishing the prospect of being in the thick of things again.

“I’m pretty excited about the season and looking forward to getting back to playing with Wasps,” he says. “Your club is your bread and butter and Wasps was my childhood team, so I want to try and do as much as I can for them. Plus, of course, if you play well for your club you can put yourself in the mix for England.” 

Speaking of which, any interview with a current England player must inevitably touch upon the national team’s astonishing surge in form and fortune since the dark days of 2015. Just two short years ago, on home soil, England crashed out at the group stages of the World Cup, exiting their own party before the wine was even properly chilled. Since then the side has won back-to-back Six Nations Championships, equalled New Zealand’s record for consecutive Test match victories and deservedly risen to the heady heights of number two in the international rankings. How does Haskell account for this near-miraculous ascent? 

“I definitely think that what Eddie Jones and the new coaching staff have put in place has been part of it. They’ve adopted a new style and a different set of motivators, which has achieved some great things. The players also deserve a huge amount of credit for winning a Grand Slam only six months after we failed at the World Cup. But I don’t think there’s one single reason you can pinpoint for the improvement. All sorts of factors have combined to create a positive environment.” 

The upturn for the national side has been mirrored by a resurgence in form for Wasps, who finished second in the Aviva Premiership last season. Throw in a three-year relationship with fitness expert and TV presenter Chloe Madeley – daughter of Richard and Judy – and all would appear to be well in the world of James Haskell, both on and off the field. Is it not a curious experience, however, to find oneself dating the daughter of morning television royalty? 

“Initially it was a bit weird, but you quickly get over it,” he says. “I had grown up watching This Morning, like everyone else, but I didn’t know that Chloe’s mum and dad were who they were until I started going out with her. I love her parents and we get on well; they’re both just really nice people. When I chat to her dad we always end up having a great laugh.” 

And so to another season of hard-hitting Haskell rugby. I’m sure he’ll be fine. After all, anyone who can win over Richard Madeley – a man who once told Bill Clinton to his face: “I was in a similar position to you. I was accused of shoplifting. But unlike you, I knew I was innocent” – is made of sterner stuff than most.

  • You can catch James Haskell in action in the Aviva Premiership. For more information visit: premiershiprugby.com. The Old Mutual Wealth Series takes place from November 11-25. For more information visit: englandrugby.com

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