Stress and worry are a normal part of life, and can sometimes be helpful for awareness, decision making or motivation. Fear is also a natural survival mechanism, but should only be experienced when there is something potentially life-threatening. When the threat is over, the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in, ridding the body of cortisol, and the systems return back to normal. I see more and more children suffering from panic attacks from as young as seven through to adolescents, as well as university students, here are my tips to help deal with panic attacks...
What to say
- Be very calm and natural. It’s important to model the right behaviour for your child. Act relaxed and don’t make a big issue out of their panic
- Tell them they are fine, it’ll soon pass and there is no danger.
- Reassure them that they are safe and just have not very nice feelings, probably brought on by some not very nice thoughts.
Pebble exercise
This is great for young children
- Give them a pebble
- Get them to feel the texture and describe it
- At the same time get them to breathe out slowly
- If they throw the pebble away, say “that’s fine”, walk away, pick it up and get on with something.
Chin drop exercise
Good for all ages. This is a very effective technique to prevent fainting and panic attacks.
- Allow the jaw and tongue to go completely slack and limp.
- If doing it correctly, it affects your eyes and you should feel very tired and lifeless
- In the middle of an attack this might be impossible for them to do; however, just trying can interrupt the pattern.
- In order to ‘wire’ it into the nervous system, encourage them to practice even when they don’t need it.
After the attack has subsided
- Give them comfort, so they know they’re safe, but don’t go over the top.
- Ask them questions such as “What else could you do when feeling panicked if it were to happen again?” which helps generate choices so they realise they have more control than they thought. Another is “What would you rather think and feel and do?”
- Note: If this step is missed then avoidance becomes a ‘normal’ coping mechanism, even into adulthood sometimes.
- This is an ongoing process. Children must learn the strategies and techniques, of which there are many, to become emotionally resilient, go through the fear, and realise they can cope. Basically, this is neuroplasticity, i.e. rewiring the brain.
Denise Bosque is a therapist, coach and trainer based in Twickenham (since 2001). She helps schools and children with anxiety, exams success and confidence. For information on workshops and events call 07958 341 475 or visit denisebosque.com
