jackie Rado
Broadcaster Beverley Turner is helping women to have a happier experience of childbirth. Samantha Laurie delivers good news...
Few people would describe giving birth as “awesome”, but Beverley Turner’s tale of the arrival of her second child (Kiki, now 10, sister to Croyde, 15 and Trixie, 8) is the stuff of fantasy: a sunny day at home, pacing out contractions in the garden and a speedy delivery in a birthing pool in the living room, attended by Pam – friend and much trusted midwife – and her Olympic hero husband, James Cracknell.
I’m tempted to counter that with my own middle child tale – a horror show of misery – but Bev knows only too well what birth is like for most women.
“I was very lucky with my first two births,” she admits, “but so many friends had such a traumatic time that they could barely talk about it. I wanted to find out why.”
So Bev began researching childbirth and, five years ago, set up The Happy Birth Club, an eight-week antenatal class based close to her home in Chiswick and now launching in Teddington. Class members are all from the same three-week due date window, with each week of the class led by a different expert from the fields of traditional medicine and complementary therapies, including obstetrics, acupuncture and hypnosis.
“It’s all about choices and how to make it right for you, whether it’s a natural drug-free homebirth or an elective Caesarian. We’re totally non-judgmental. It makes me really cross when women are made to feel that they’ve failed if they don’t achieve a perfect ‘natural’ birth when the whole system makes that so hard.”
The courses are hosted by an experienced midwife – in Chiswick, it’s Pam Wild, whose CV includes all Bev’s babies and numerous others for celebrity mums, such as Thandie Newton and Davina McCall. Couples on the course can call her – or, with the new Teddington classes, NHS midwife Emily Stormonth Darling – whenever they have any concerns.
“One of the biggest failings of the system is that most women who give birth have never previously met the midwife who delivers their baby. How can you feel safe and ready to give birth if you don’t know your midwife?
“So many women still have traumatic births. You hear people say: ‘Oh well, you’ve got a healthy baby, that’s all that matters.’ No, it isn’t. That’s just another way of telling women to shut up.
“It really matters if you’re waking up with horrific flashbacks. I often say that, if men were having babies, the baby’s health would be their lowest priority, way below pain relief on tap, a midwife they know and a widescreen TV.”
Whilst Bev’s first two pregnancies went smoothly, her third was marked by her husband’s devastating bike accident in Arizona. In July 2010, the double Olympic gold medallist rower collided with a petrol tanker, sustaining a frontal lobe brain injury which would have life-changing effects on his empathy, motivation and mood. Ten days later Bev found that she was pregnant.
“It was really stressful. I was a knot of anxiety and tension the whole time. At birth, James was still deep in recovery. He was very talkative and demanding, and easily upset. It was a difficult, but poignant, birth.”
Earlier this year Bev announced the couple’s separation, writing movingly in The Times about the impact of the accident and the strain of being married to such a single-minded athlete.
‘The problem with a brain injury is that the supporting partner is never entirely sure what can be attributed to the condition and what is just your partner being a dick,’ she wrote, describing the challenges of living with the ‘dark internal restlessness that drives all overachievers’ and how family life took second place to her husband’s pursuits, such as his recent triumph as the oldest ever competitor in the Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race.
“So many women have thanked me for saying [in the article] what they couldn’t articulate. It doesn’t matter if it’s a brain injury, an affair or gambling, it’s the idea that you marry one person and they become a different one. You are left holding the baby. There’s this terrible assumption that your partner can disappear for hours on end to go training or stay late at work, and you’re the default carer.
“I think the most important thing we do in the classes is getting couples to communicate. I’ll have the men make a 24-hour clock of their day and then imagine how it will look after the baby. It’s easier if they hear it from me that there won’t be time for popping to the gym after work!”
Bev's top tips
For birth:
- Hypnobirthing – these are techniques for life. It helped me deal with the shock of James’s injury
- which.co.uk is a fantastic way to compare hospitals and birth centres
- Pay for a late scan – it’s so incredibly accurate and only costs about £150
- If you can afford a private midwife (around £5,000), it’s the best money you’ll spend
- One way to ensure the same NHS midwife throughout the process is to tell your hospital you want a homebirth – you can always change your mind!
For new mums:
- Accept all offers of help – just half an hour to recharge your batteries will do you the world of good
- Aim low – just try to get out of the house once a day and you’re doing well
