Bumping, grinding, shimmying, framing: Deana Luchia is making all the right moves...
I’m not sure what to expect when I join a burlesque class in Staines.
What little I think I know about burlesque involves nipple tassels, feather boas, nudity and an image of celebrity performer Dita Von Teese dancing seductively in a giant martini glass.
I’m 56, heavier than I’d like to be, and wearing thick black leggings and a large grey T-shirt that covers my bottom. I dance like a teenage boy in a mosh pit and do not possess any sexy moves.
I wait in the car park for a while, reminding myself that, as I’m here for work, it doesn’t really matter if everyone in the class is slinking sexily round the room whilst I’m wobbling, red-faced in the corner. Does it?
My inner critic quietens down when I meet the teacher, award-winning burlesque performer Miss Petit Pois (real name Shayla Ash).
Surrey Burlesque School
Tiny, kind and uber positive, she reassures me that everyone starts out feeling nervous.
“But by the end, they are radiating happy confidence and a new way of holding themselves. They forge new friendships, too. It’s a bonding exercise,” she says.
And as for burlesque being all about sexy moves?
“That’s just one very small part of it,” she tells me. “It’s also about being playful, silly and funny.”
The class I’m joining tonight is week one of a nine-week course for beginners, at the end of which there’s the chance to perform to a live audience. And whilst that’s not something I would ever want to do, those who did the course last time can’t wait to get on stage again.
Deana Luchia
In fact, five of the 15 women who have signed up are eager returnees.
There’s a wide age range – from early 20s to 70s – and a variety of shapes and sizes. And whilst I’m not the only one dressed for comfort, several women are in high heels, and one wears a tiny mini skirt. Everyone is welcoming.
Petit Pois, who has a day job as a manager with the Post Office, set up Surrey Burlesque School in February to “bring burlesque to the suburbs”.
She begins by asking us to sit in a circle and say why we are here. There’s talk of trauma, low confidence, illness and weight gain, of needing something beyond work and child-rearing.
But equally, people are here for fun, to do something different and because they’re curious about burlesque.
For our first move, we strut around the room as if on a red carpet and make ‘Look at me!’ diva poses, arms raised, hips out.
Surrey Burlesque School
It’s a playful way of asking us to behave as though we believe we’re fabulous. I decide to do this at home next time I’m feeling a bit low.
Next, we pretend to drop something, before bending down with our bottom out, legs straight, to pick it up. We also practise hip bumping and grinding, shimmying our cleavages and framing.
I struggle to shimmy, but I enjoy framing, which means drawing attention to a particular body part with the hands, making it appear bigger or more exciting than it is.
At a party later in the week, I tell my friends how to frame a cleavage: position both hands under your boobs, palms up, and wiggle your fingers, all whilst smiling knowingly.
Petit Pois is a great instructor, adroitly controlling the room, giving clear instructions as well as praise and encouragement.
As she teaches us to perform a sequence of moves to music, she reminds us that burlesque is not the same as stripping – even though, to my alarm, we’re dancing to The Stripper, the jazz track by David Rose forever associated with striptease.
“It’s more the illusion of nudity,” says Petit Pois. “You’re really performing for you. It’s ultimately about having confidence in yourself. A burlesque performer doesn’t owe the audience anything.”
On my way home, I find that – The Stripper shock aside – I’m surprised by how much fun I’ve had and by how kind and supportive everyone was.
But most unexpected for me is how – after just one 90-minute session – I can feel myself starting to believe that my body might not, after all, be something to hide, but something to celebrate instead.
The next nine-week burlesque course starts on Sept 29 and costs £259 with 10% off for readers using the code ESSENTIAL10 at checkout. surreyburlesqueschool.com.
