One small step for local men. But one giant leap for their mental health. Jane McGowan on a walking and talking cure...
In 2022, more than 4,100 men took their own lives in the UK.
Of all deaths recorded as suicide, males accounted for 75% of them. And the figure has been rising since the mid-1990s.
According to the Office of National Statistics, in 2023, the UK suicide rate was more than three times higher for men than for women, with men aged 45-49 especially at risk. A bleak set of statistics, to be sure.
But while the numbers may shock many of us, for Chris Waller – founder of We Power On, a walk and talk group for men which meets up on Epsom Downs – they come as no surprise.
“There are a lot of people out there who feel like this,” he says. “But there is also help available – you just have to take the first step.”
It was “out of necessity” for the idea for the group to emerge, Chris admits. “I was having a pretty tough time. Actually, I felt suicidal. It sounds awful when you say it.
“My partner found me on the floor of the shed, and apparently, I was just saying the same thing over and over again. She convinced me to go to the GP, who prescribed me a course of CBT [cognitive behavioural therapy]. When that finished after six weeks, I just started going for walks, and while I was on the move I would chat to my friend on the phone.
“I ended up telling him why I was walking and what I had been feeling, and he then got very tearful and told me that he’d been having the same thoughts. He even said he had put black clothes on and walked onto the motorway. It was a terrible situation.”
From that troubling conversation, the group was born. Chris went home and made flyers inviting any men who felt they might benefit to meet at The Rubbing House on Epsom Downs at 10 am on Sunday.
“I thought I would be inundated with people, but no one showed up,” reveals Chris. “I went back the next week, and then the next – and still nothing. Actually, nobody turned up for about two months. But because I had posted the flyers, I couldn’t risk not going and missing that one person who might have needed to talk.”
Eventually, one Sunday morning, a man was waiting. The following week, there was another, and now the group boasts up to 19 people each week.
The walk follows the same route each time. It is relaxed and not too strenuous and ends with a cup of tea at the local snack kiosk.
“It is just a great support network,” says Chris. “It helps to combat loneliness and provides the men with a focus and a release – just by meeting friends and having a chat.
“Most importantly it gives people hope because they are talking to others who are on a similar path.”
Nor are the benefits confined to the men themselves.
“It’s not all about us,” insists Chris. “Addressing male mental health should mean fewer partners and children left to deal with the aftermath of suicide.”
The group has now extended its activities to include social events. Moreover, two members of the group have recently completed mental health training.
“It’s a little bit of magic. They have come here, got the support they needed, and now they just want to help others. Isn’t that amazing?”
Meanwhile, come rain or shine, the walks continue. And Chris urges any man feeling in need of help to give them a go.
“You just have to turn up. Get your shoes on and come and meet us. You don’t have to talk, if you don’t want to. I’m not saying that the walk is a fix-all or that it’s life-changing. But it might just be a first step.”
Where to talk
- Men’s Sheds: A venue where men can come together and take part in practical activities. There are ‘Sheds’ in Barnes, Hounslow, Twickenham, Staines, Sutton, Weybridge and Walton-on-Thames. To find your nearest group visit: menssheds.org.uk.
- Lucy Rayner Foundation Counselling groups for men in Surrey: Visit thelucyraynerfoundation.com.
- Brentford FC Men’s Talk Club: Start small groups to get your mates talking. Visit: hounslowconnect.com.
- Andy’s Man Club: A space where men can discuss the “storms affecting their lives”. There are sessions in Guildford and Woking. Visit: hounslowconnect.comhttp://www.hounslowconnect.com.
- For further information visit: wepoweron.co.uk.
- If you feel you need to speak to someone, contact mind.org.uk or samaritans.org.
