Gareth Thomas, the former Welsh international rugby player, cuts a striking figure as he strides across the lobby of Richmond Hill Hotel and wraps me in a big bear hug. He’s happy to be back in the place where he and his teammates used to stay before matches at Twickenham.
Today, however, scrums and lineouts are firmly off the agenda. As the first rugby union international to come out as gay back in 2009 – and one who went on to disclose his HIV status a decade later – Gareth is here to talk about his Tackle HIV campaign and the importance of universal testing.
“Finding out about my own status, I realised I was experiencing a kind of self-stigma because I didn’t know anything about HIV,” he reflects. “We hadn’t learned about it in school, I never talked about it with my parents. It was never spoken about anywhere.”
He vividly recalls the reaction of close friends when he revealed his diagnosis.
“Their first question was either: ‘Are you going to die?’ or ‘Will I have caught it off you if we used the same glass?’ Since launching his campaign in 2020, however, Gareth has made it his mission to bust the stigma surrounding HIV.
“Fighting that is just as important as the scientific advances,” he says.
“A lot of people don’t understand that, thanks to medicine, HIV is no longer a death sentence; that you can live a full life. With me, the fact that I live with HIV, taking one tablet a day and enjoying a normal, healthy existence – including a happy sex life – is difficult for some people to comprehend.”
Right from the outset, Gareth knew that the campaign would need to be more than just verbally informative: the visual impact of a man in robust health was vital too.
It was no coincidence that, shortly after revealing his HIV status, he completed a gruelling Ironman triathlon.
“The stigmatizing assumption about people with HIV is that they are frail, weak and pale. I wanted to stand up as a happy human being and show the world how I get out of bed every day to train and complete extreme physical challenges.”
Today marks the start of National HIV Testing Week, and it’s this crucial annual initiative that Gareth is here to flag up. “It’s essential that we convey the importance of testing, break down the associated stigmas and show people just how easy it is.
There’s no need to go to a sexual health clinic – you can get tested in the comfort of your own home.” And that’s not the only important message that Gareth is keen to get across.
“In 2020 in England, there were more new cases of HIV amongst heterosexual males than there were amongst gay and bisexual men,” he explains. “So it’s a case of getting people to understand that, regardless of your characteristic, testing is relevant for you.”
Last autumn, in a pause from his numerous extreme physical challenges, Gareth took the Tackle HIV bus to the Rugby World Cup in France, visiting fan zones across the country to continue the educational journey.
The campaign is run conjointly with ViiV Healthcare, an independent global specialist HIV company committed to delivering innovative new medicines for the care and treatment of people living with HIV/AIDS. Prince Harry and Sir Elton John are vocal cheerleaders too.
“Harry has really taken on the legacy that his mother created when she went to shake the hands of people living with AIDS, and Elton John is doing amazing work globally with his Elton John AIDS Foundation,” reflects Gareth.
“It’s like a community where we all feel the need to support each other because we understand the importance of the message. If we use our voices collectively, that message will be a lot louder and a lot more effective.”
HIV aside, homophobia in sport remains a huge companion issue. Gareth is completely transparent about feeling constrained to keep his sexuality secret during his international rugby career.
Mentioning those struggles still packs a punch: when I raise the subject, his face clouds over for the first time since we sat down. “It was really difficult,” he admits.
“The world isn’t a nice place when, every day, you’re constantly having to lie. Whether it be waking up next to my wife at the time, telling her I loved her while knowing that it wasn’t the whole truth, or going to work with my teammates, expecting honesty and commitment from them, but not being able to give back in return.
“I lived in fear that people would know I was lying, and it came to a point where I just couldn’t lie any more. It was a case of tell the truth and take whatever happens, or basically jump off the edge of a cliff.”
Thankfully, Gareth chose the truth, making history by coming out as the first openly gay professional rugby union player.
He is glad, he says, that he took the plunge and hopes that his honesty has served to shift the dial. Even so, he acknowledges, there is still a long way to go.
“The fact that we can sit here in 2024 and struggle to name five homosexual sportspeople in an industry with millions of participants, you have to wonder if the environment is really so inclusive and diverse.”
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Free for editorial use image, please credit: imagecomms Welsh former professional rugby union and rugby league player Gareth Thomas launches the Tackle HIV Myth Bus Tour in France during Rugby World Cup France 2023 to challenge HIV stigma.
Home for Gareth is now back in his beloved Wales, where he lives with fellow Welshman Steve, his husband of seven years.
“My life has done a full circle. I was born in Bridgend, played for Bridgend, then lived in France for a bit and moved around with the rugby, but now I’m back in Bridgend. That’s lovely for me and lovely for my mother.”
Family, indeed, is very important to Gareth, who is proud to have two stepdaughters and one stepgrandson.
“I never thought that I would have children, so I really celebrate the beauty of having them in my life,” he smiles. Now, with his 50th birthday looming, Gareth is living proof that life with HIV can be fabulous, and before we part he rolls up one trouser leg to show me the tattoo on his knee which marks his own personal journey.
“The skull represents the imminent death I expected when I first had my diagnosis, while the wings show how I felt that I was coming back to life once I had educated myself. And the crown? It symbolizes how I am willing to stand at the front; to take the lead in bringing about change.”
tacklehiv.org; @tacklehiv
