Jane McGowan chats to counsellor Susie Pinchin about how best to prepare your child for the return to school.
For most parents September means one thing – it’s back to school time.
A small fortune has been spent on stationery, you have conquered the queue in Clarks and the uniform is – for the first and last time that year – hanging neatly in the wardrobe.
All that remains is to wave your little darlings off and put the kettle on.
But as we know, 2020 is not just any other year.
As a result of the Covid-19 pandemic some children are returning after six months of homeschooling; some are embarking on a college course following the results of exams they never got to sit, and some will have their first-ever day at school spent getting to know their ‘bubble’.
So how can parents and carers best equip their child for the big day and the prospect of further disruption over the coming months?
“It’s important to recognise that every child will react differently,” says Surrey-based therapeutic counsellor Susie Pinchin.
“There will have been children who have loved the past few months. They will have come from supportive families where they have been helped with lessons and able to play in the garden, go on walks, have their own space and so on. Then there will be others where there is neglect – possibly abuse – and for whom lockdown will have been a living hell. There will also have been children who have lost members of the family and are dealing with grief. So I think the one thing to remember is, we are all in the same storm, but we are all in different boats.”
Susie is keen to point out that even within one family, children will have experienced the pandemic in different ways and it is not enough for parents to just tell them, ‘you’ll be fine’.
“It’s a good idea to start the conversation while doing another activity,” Susie advises. “Ask them, ‘So how are you feeling about going back to school? Or how has being back at school been for you?’ Keep it low key, natural. Whatever you do, don’t catastrophise the situation.
“If they say they are terrified, don’t try to fix it or brush it off. Listen to what they say is making them scared and address each point one at a time. Some things are within our control and some are not – so make them aware of that too.”
There should also be plenty of information from the schools too. If they have not done so already, all schools will be setting out guidelines for year groups; arriving and departing, as well as lunchtimes and playtimes. Again, this will be individual to that school and its pupils’ needs.
“Parents can check local forums, Facebook groups and so on. There is usually one mum who has the inside track and can offer a few answers. And it’s important that if your child has specific fears to contact the school directly. Find out what is in place and pass the information on to your child. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help so that you can help your child.”
While we may do our best to ally our children’s fears, adults cannot escape the enormity and tragedy Covid-19 has wreaked across the globe.
But Susie urges parents not to pass on their anxiety to youngsters and try to normalise the situation as much as possible.
“As parents, we need to look for the positives – for example, it will be good to see their friends and teachers again. Keep reminding them that everyone is having to get used to something new – it is not just them."
“As difficult as the situation has been and may continue to be, the experience will add to your child’s emotional toolbox. Life can be hard and it’s important to help your children build resilience. We will get through this – they will get through this.”
Susie Pinchin is a member of BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy) and can be contacted via peaceofmindcounselling@yahoo.com
