Revealed: The stupid things people say to wheelchair users

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Divya Babbar, disabled access columnist

Divya Babbar, disabled access columnist

Back by huge popular demand, Divya Babbar returns to tell you even more stupid things people say to wheelchair users

• “Isn’t it really weird for you that you can’t feel your legs?”– I can’t feel my legs?! What? Then how come I can feel you poking me?
• “Aren’t you really angry with your parents for doing this to you?” - I don’t really think that it was possible for them to actively pick out the gene for SMA and infuse it into my DNA so, no.
• “It’s so good to see you out and about.” – it’s so good to see you too, random stranger.
• “If you need anything, I’m there for you. Seriously, you can call me anytime. Like for real, I mean it. You believe me, right? And when I say anything I mean ANYTHING. So you’ll call me, right?”–I love a supportive friend as much as the next person, but being overly supportive is unnecessary. And truthfully, you’re kinda creeping me out.
• “We have a disabled accessible room just down those stairs.”– A bartender at Richmond’s Pitcher & Piano actually said that to me. Yeah, because wheelchair + stairs = total party! 
• “You’re so normal for someone in a wheelchair.” – What does that even MEAN?
• “Your wheelchair takes up too much space.” – To a wheelchair user, this is the equivalent of  “you look fat”. It hurts.
• “I thought my life was pretty bad until I met you.” – Gee, thanks!
• “That looks fun. I wish I could drive everywhere in one of those!” It can be arranged.

If you’re reading this and stressing out because you’ve said some of these things, don’t worry – you're not alone. Lots of people speak out of ignorance, not malice, with good intentions underlying even the most stupid remark.

The good news is that wheelchair users are used to being on the receiving end of such quips, so we're very likely to forgive your wheelie faux pas.

Rather than dwelling on what you have said, why not think about how you will speak to the next person with a disability that you come across?

And, if you are stuck for something to say, the answer is to say nothing! Well, nothing more than what you would say to anyone you've just met, that is. It’s really important to remember that, despite my disability, I’m still your average person. Approach me – or any wheelchair user for that matter – the same way that you would approach someone who can walk.

Of course, if you develop a friendship with a wheelchair user, the etiquette is more relaxed. It is totally okay to ask questions once you know us a bit better, but it all depends on timing, tact and how well you know the wheelchair user that you are talking to.

For example, "What’s wrong with you?” is such a bad way to ask what disorder I have. Furthermore, if you’re asking me five minutes after we meet, I’m likely to get offended, as there are so many more interesting things about me than my disorder.

On the other hand, if you’ve taken the time to get to know me and then ask me about my disability, I’ll be more than happy to answer your questions.

You can read Part 1 of this article here

For more of Divya's articles, click here